Sunday, April 13, 2014

Men Don't Want To Meet Women Online

So after much reluctancy, I decided to give online dating a try…again. One of the pet peeves I had in the past with online dating was the fact that people who do it seem to have absolutely no interest in actual meeting people!

Let me be a little bit more specific. In the past I would spend a considerable amount of time scanning through member profiles to see if anyone caught my eye. In the rare case that this happened, I had no issue messaging the person and letting them know that I was interested in getting to know them better. Maybe two or three of these conversations actually led to a date.

My point is that I agree there is nothing wrong with being selective. However, I think online dating has become this vortex that people "hide" behind to increase their sense of superiority. I mean think about it. You have the power. You get to scan through profiles and say "Nope, unattractive, uh uh, arrogant, too short, too desperate." We become comfortable making judgments about people we don't even know and then we get fed up when we have no plans on Friday night.  People do things like rate your profile very highly or wink at you and then don't take the time to message you. I don't understand it. What a colossal waste of time.

I made an executive decision: online dating wasn't about finding the "one". I mean yeah it could happen, but I knew I needed to adjust my expectations and be more open to just dating and having a good time. I know what I want and I am not willing to lower my standards. However, I'm less critical when viewing profiles of potential dates online.

My observations have led me to believe that men have no interest in meeting women online. Perhaps they are being highly selective and are reluctant to go out with someone they don't feel an instant spark with. But I'll tell you this: I have no interest in communicating with you via email for three months or more in order to figure out if we have enough commonalities to meet in person. I enjoy dating in real life. I don't think you really get an accurate read of people just by communicating with them online. Let's see if we click in person sooner rather than later. This is not an act of desperation, it just makes sense!

What are your thoughts about online dating?


  1. Hi Jenn!

    This isn't a plug for my book The Successful Single Mom Finds Love ... I have developed a theory and some effective strategies for finding love {single or as a single mom}. WealthySingleMommy and I discuss it here: If you like what you see, then perhaps take a peek at the book.

    In essence, when you know what you want and you "name it to claim it" then the magic happens. Also, what you look for, you find. Knowing those two things can shift what's happening for you online and offline!

    Good luck and keep me posted! Honoree

    1. Thank you! I agree! Change your thinking and you change your life! I will def check out your post!

  2. You are so right. You can't hide behind a computer screen to get to know someone on an intimate level.

  3. And so many people do! Or their standards are way too freaking high and they are reluctant to go out with someone who doesn't seem like the perfect match! My deal breakers are fair: lack of education, arrogant, and bad spelling!

    1. True! It's not like we judge that harshly when dating people we meet the "traditional" way. I think we are more guarded online in that regard.