tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4486838277043364280.post2131667845644875889..comments2016-04-24T17:32:30.301-07:00Comments on Brooklyn Single Mama: Yes, Double Standards Do Exist! Jenn Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15811064978186607272noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4486838277043364280.post-44921443707098536632016-04-24T17:32:30.301-07:002016-04-24T17:32:30.301-07:00I have been raising my daughter since she was 2 (s...I have been raising my daughter since she was 2 (she is now nine) and I find that women are impressed yes, that I am raising my daughter. But as soon as they realise that I have no time to be spontaneous in the relationship they soon depart. Many women that I have dated don't want the responsibility of another womans child even if it is just as a friend and role model. So I have given up. I will just continue to be there for my daughter. Continue my studies at Uni, continue to work on the not for profit organisation I started and wait till my daughter is grown up and I have an income that is sufficient before I start dating again.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14970058046977760665noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4486838277043364280.post-8480151715069790192015-01-11T16:03:35.347-08:002015-01-11T16:03:35.347-08:00Jenn, you have hit the nail on the head, yes doubl...Jenn, you have hit the nail on the head, yes double standards do exist. However, I would like to give a fresh outlook from a stepmom's point of view. When I see men out alone with their children, I am excited that a single mom, mom or stepmom is getting a much deserved break. With only 20% of single men having custody of their children, the one's you are seeing out and about are most likely part time dads on visitation. Yes, let's applaud them and cheer them on so they will do more of it. <br />Great job to all the single moms out there who are parenting with part time help or no help at all. We take care of our children because we love them and no ones has to give us an award for it. If no one else applauds you I do!!!<br /><br />Yes, men with children are cute and look responsible, but do your homework and think twice about dating or marrying a man with children. Many a frustrated stepmom will tell you that all is fine until you say I do. There is a large group of career stepmoms who say if they had to do it over again, they would never marry a man with children. Hmmmm. <br />As the biological mom of 2 and stepmom to 6, I felt the same way until we learned how to survive as a stepfamily. By the way if you need some stepfamily help, check us out at www.stepwithlove.org.<br />With that being said, let's flip the script on this double standard and as single moms let's look at men with children differently. Like I said, let's give them kudos for taking care of the kids for whatever time they do and encourage them to do more of it. And then let's think twice before dating them, because after all you could end up a frustrated stepmom and have to do coaching sessions with me JLove the Stepmom Coach. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18251439503560184262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4486838277043364280.post-53744800030489018572015-01-05T17:37:47.670-08:002015-01-05T17:37:47.670-08:00It's sad that it is both men and women contrib...It's sad that it is both men and women contributing to this issue. And I just felt so strongly about it and that is what produced this post. Everyone should have a fair chance at starting over and it's not a competition. Why can't both women and men who are parents be represented as responsible, mature, caring adults? Jenn Nelsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15811064978186607272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4486838277043364280.post-74964955766006367432015-01-04T17:31:28.316-08:002015-01-04T17:31:28.316-08:00You couldn't get it any more right! Double sta...You couldn't get it any more right! Double standard in every way. Worst part is, it's not just men creating these social stigmas and stereotypes. Women do it, too, as you referenced the lady on the train. So frustrating...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4486838277043364280.post-91261530021097793062015-01-04T15:33:54.719-08:002015-01-04T15:33:54.719-08:00Damn...that is deep! All I gotta do is walk into a...Damn...that is deep! All I gotta do is walk into a supermarket with my kid and the looks seem to be saying : please don't let that kid have a tantrum. Keep him under control. The world we live in...Jenn Nelsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15811064978186607272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4486838277043364280.post-82515985678177563702015-01-04T15:29:22.996-08:002015-01-04T15:29:22.996-08:00All i gotta do is just WALK into the supermarket w...All i gotta do is just WALK into the supermarket with my children and I get compliments, free stuff, and phone numbers... I am like REALLY? Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13205384167481897308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4486838277043364280.post-41848576485839350672015-01-04T14:59:05.266-08:002015-01-04T14:59:05.266-08:00Thank you for your feedback. I remember being so s...Thank you for your feedback. I remember being so shocked and perplexed by some of the responses I was getting. As always, you've simplified it to an extent that makes it easy to see why these distorted perceptions exist. The truth is, I don't need to be recognized as a super hero. My son validates me and I know that I am doing a good job and that is what I need to focus on. Jenn Nelsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15811064978186607272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4486838277043364280.post-19673140016071276872015-01-03T21:40:13.941-08:002015-01-03T21:40:13.941-08:00Totally agree. I think people appreciate rarity an...Totally agree. I think people appreciate rarity and take standards for granted. So a responsible man is like a diamond, but a responsible woman is yet another bowl of plain Cheerios. FTR, I always liked dating women with kids, because I'm good with kids, which, yes, made me look like a much better catch than I actually am.Trauma Dadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03163327922790766716noreply@blogger.com